We all have experienced how difficult it could be to shop for the opposite sex - the purpose does not simplify the problem - it could be a gift, could be just something good you saw for someone…. practically any reason, As far as I have seen the problem exists for both sexes while trying to accomplish this feat. The problem gets compounded if you actually care for the person you are buying & care as to how his/her reaction would be once she/he gets hold of it. Taking my example itself… I shop a lot (I am on the verge of becoming an obsessive compulsive shopaholic) however whenever I shop I keep an eye out for stuff for my sister & although luckily she has been mighty impressed by the stuff which I have ever bought for her & has more confidence on my taste than I have..... yet I am always nervous when I buy for her & that is the reason why I restrict my shopping to hand bags, clutches, footwear, jewellery & other accessories but any kind of garment is a strict no- no the simple reason being the number of risk factors which can go wrong are way too high… the cut of the dress, the fall, the length, the size, the color, the fitting etc etc etc… too risky a proposition for me to undertake.
The incident which prompts me to write this is what I came across during my recent trip to London for around a week. I was shopping at a Burberry Outlet & was just going about my business of shopping for blazers when a female of Japanese origin aged about 25 – 30 came up to me & very politely asked me that what do I think of the trench coat for man she was holding in her hand, I looked at it & genuinely said it looks good. Then she explained that she was looking to buy something for her boyfriend & I resemble him as far as body shape, height etc are concerned & if I could just wear the coat & confirm to her if the size is ok & she wanted to see how it looks on me to get an idea of how it would look on her boyfriend…. I gladly obliged, did a bit of modeling for her… handed the coat back to her she said thanks & then went towards the billing counter. Almost exactly the same incident happen with me the next day when I was at Oxford Street again shopping at Harvey Nichols, the only difference was that the lady was of British Origin, same age group & this time the garment was a sweat shirt….
My total stay in London was 5 days & similar incident occurring twice got me thinking…. The thought was why don’t I do this when I am shopping for someone or see others doing it often in India…. & 2 incidents straight away come to my mind first was at Garuda Mall in Bangalore & second one was at Palladium Shopping Mall in Mumbai… both time I saw two girls at each of these places completely perplexed & confused as to what size would fit the guy for which they were buying in the first case it was a shirt & in the latter case it was a blazer… both times I observed the discussion between the two of them continued for more than half an hour without any consensus or outcome… which is obvious since the information to generate outcome was itself missing…… reading the above, the solution seems very simple… they could have looked around for a guy who had the same physical resemblance requested him to try & could have made a decision… come to think of it they could have asked one of the stores salesman to do the same for them… but I have never seen this happening……
Post my return from London I met one of my friends & asked her for her opinion as to why in our country people do not ask for this kind of assistance from either fellow shoppers at the store or sales staff itself….. her immediate response was it would be interpreted as if the guy is asking a girl, he is making a pass at her & if the situation is other way around the girl is making a pass at the guy…… My logical sense went into a frenzy I explained to her that lets take a step back & think about it… if a girl is asking a guy to try something & giving him the background information that she wants to buy something for another guy… unless she explicitly mentions that it is for her brother or cousin or relative hasn’t she already eliminated any chance of her even being remotely interested in making a pass at you….. it is like someone walking up to you & saying “Hi! I just got a minus twelve in my IQ test would you like to discuss Quantum Physics with me?”… & the same logic would hold good for a guy asking help from a girl… but it does not happen… at least not very often……
On introspection I would also not do this if I am shopping in India...I am too scared since I also believe it will be interpreted the same way which my friend explained…. in London or US perhaps yes I will after the experiences which I have had. But that brings me to the question which is still unanswered… that is actually has our societal values, the environment in which we are bought up holds such a vice grip on certain behavioral patterns of our life that logic & rationale take a back seat… perhaps yes…. I feel really great when the I see young & even younger generations liberating themselves from such vice grips in various dimensions but at the same I get worried when I see ‘liberation’ being used & exercised way too ‘liberally’….. but again liberation is not a measuring scale & there is no optimum level of liberation… the pendulum will keep swinging on either side of the spectrum….. however a pendulum swinging is anyday better then remaining stationary & gathering dust…..
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