Ignorance for love to Ignorance in love to Ignorance of love…..

The incident which prompts me to write this goes in this way…. Some days back I had an opening in my department, the department for which I work for in my company is one of the high profile departments in the organization & much respected in the banking industry as a whole…. My manager asked me if I knew someone who could be suitable for the position… I knew a guy from my previous company who could fit the bill… good technical skills, honest, hard working had most of the attributes which we were looking for. So I met him over a cup of coffee to explain the role and also answer any questions which he may have plus a little catch up since we were meeting after a long time….. The guy was working in Bangalore but the position was in Mumbai and if he gets selected he would be required to move to Mumbai… the guy actually is from Mumbai & that’s where his parents are… I told him the status as is that this job would require relocation… this guy was pleasantly surprised and became more interested in the job… he said he is very willing to move to Mumbai and would be able to do so at a very short notice…. And said that he is very keen for this…. The conversation ended we said how good it was to catch up with one another after such a long time and that he will send me across his CV for me to refer the same…..

After meeting him when I was driving back I was thinking how could he just say that he is willing to relocate so easily & that too at a very short notice…. Now you all must be thinking what is wrong with that… and some of you may have assumed him to be very career oriented, determined etc etc etc….. well here is why it gets me thinking.. the guy is married for 2 years… his wife works in Accenture (obviously in Bangalore)… I have never met his wife but little from what I know she always wanted to have a professional career….. this guy without having a flash of thought goes ahead & firmly commits that he is willing to relocate without even having any second thoughts about his wife’s career… will she be able to get a transfer to Mumbai (I don’t even know if accenture has a set up in Mumbai or not), will she get a new job easily…. Is she comfortable moving in with her in laws…. Does she want to move if she is doing well in her career at this place…. Doesn’t being married for 2 years she deserves an honest discussion and sharing of her viewpoint with her husband before he commits that he is ok with moving cities?????

It baffles me completely… reminds me of the incident one year back when was taking a telephonic interview of a girl for an opening in my function… during the discussion I mentioned that this role may require you to travel for 3-4 months in a year and would she be ok with it.... she replied that she would have to discuss the same with her husband and get back to me… isn’t this all too familiar in our culture/social set up…. My question is even fundamental why females are so considerate & so thoughtful in any situation while guys behave like f***ing morons….. if I discuss this with some people I would get the answer that is the way it works…. I say bullshit…. It is just that guys have failed to evolve into human beings and that makes me sick to my gut….

I have seen quite a few guys from being ignorant of everything trying to find love…. Then being ignorant of everything else once they have find love (or for some of them once they have “conquered” or “achieved” love)… finally becoming ignorant of someone whom they loved particularly after marriage… witnessing this makes me very uncomfortable to say the least…..

There is another phenomenon in this context which merits mentioning here what I call as “me” to “we” to “he” transition…. For a girl before entering in a relationship or marriage it is all about “me” – I want to go to this college, I want to do this course, I want that dress, those boots etc etc, once in a relationship or after marriage the overnight transition happens and everything become “we” – We want to go to this place, we want this kind of an apartment etc etc… the last phase is when everything becomes “he”, he would want this, he would want to go there, he would like to have this for dinner etc etc….. on the other hand the “me” state for guy remains the same at all points of time in most of the cases…. Yes I know most of guys will never agree to this but there are enough cases to look around…. Okay I admit they do change to the “we” state for some time in a relationship or early days in marriage but that’s about it…..

I am not trying to induce gender bias in this post (just to mention I am a guy, if that helps) but it is just disappointing to see that within human beings one sex has evolved so much, become so mentally equipped to face challenges and still make things work while the other still lags behind believing in or rather trapped in a fictitious glorious past which never existed, refusing to evolve…….

Btw…. I did not act like a douche bag I still sent across his CV for the opening in my department…… :):):)