STEREOTYPING – Two Lives One Union & The Whole Circus – FAMILY WEDDING

So here I am on my way back from a family wedding, the wedding was a two day affair which had 6 different events culminating into the final marriage ritual for the bride & groom. I attended as a relative of the bride & the wedding took place in the city where the groom resides.

In a nut shell the agenda was: First Day – Engagement Ceremony, Visit to the temple & evening entertainment & dance show which Indians call “Sangeet”. Second Day – another event which I am still clueless about, a visit to the temple & finally marriage ritual late at night (although technically it was early morning of the next day)

This post is going to be highly clichéd since we all are aware and already know some of the stereotypes we encounter in all Indian Marriages, plus for me it was quite an experience since it was the first family wedding that I attended after a span of 13 years (it has been so long that I even got the number of years wrong in the last post) and the wedding in taking place in a city which is in that part of India which is known for over the top antics for every occasion. Oh Boy!!!!! Am I excited!!!

Upfront some clarifications:

Firstly, since males & females have very distinct role, responsibilities & behavioral patterns in Indian weddings the individual stereotypes will fit more appropriately for a particular sex. I would mention that in the descriptions for the stereotypes – so yes this post is going to be sexist at a lot of places!!!!!!!

Secondly, there is nothing small about Indian marriages; everything is big & larger than life, so even a blog post about Indian marriages cannot be tiny. This is going to be a long one.

1)      Santa, painting the town red – Let me crush your hopes before they get too high, I am not talking about some guys who love kids or nice old people, the only reason I am using Santa’s reference is because of Red color. These are men who are serial tobacco addicts. Their mouths are more red then the bride’s dress or the bright red nail polish of the bridesmaids. If these guys are not controlled they will paint your entire wedding venue red with their spitting habits. If you don’t want a red colored graffiti on your expensive dresses stay as far as possible from these guys.

2)      The Miss (Mis) Informer – Yeah we all have one or two females like this in every family wedding. These are women mostly married who would always claim that they know the entire schedule of the wedding, they know the exact time when all the different events will happen, where they will happen, who will do what, who will be required. fundamentally these females are elusive to the sentence “I do not know”. Goes without saying that most of their information if not all are incorrect, because they themselves don’t know Jack Shit about the wedding.

3)      Bride’s Bitches – These can be some of the toughest guests to manage, these are the closest friends/gossip partners/BFFs of the bride. Half of them who are married are happy as they are thinking “welcome to the club bitch, now you would know what it takes” for the bride, the other half who are unmarried are thinking “one bitch less to compete with for dresses, shoes & accessories”, whoever are left just draw hope that someday they will also get their knight in shining armor & are genuinely happy for the bride. These girls are demanding – separate room, separate place for makeup, separate cars for transportation, unrestricted access to bride’s room (and Groom’s room also sometimes). I wonder if somewhere in the entire event they start assuming it is their marriage!!!!!

4)      Groom’s Grubs – If I mention Bride’s Bitches, how can I not elaborate the Groom’s grub like friends. They are the worst of the lot both sides of a wedding put together. Someone has to beat them in their head (or their ankles, where their brains lie) that merely being close to the groom does not change their lineage to royal blue bloods and does not entitle them to any special treatment. Most of them are there for free food & booze, and the perpetual hope of getting laid – but then come to think of it, is there any place where guys go without the hope of being laid? (I can think of one perhaps – Men’s restroom :))

5)      The Complete Package – I am not talking about some good looking hunk so don’t get excited. These can be both men and women. They are mostly in their mid-40s or elder then that. They would have met you after a long time will come to you, talk to you for less than 10 minutes and then comes their patented question – What is your package? Or How much do you earn? The more irritating part it they will not take a subtle no for an answer and will keep pestering unless either you tell them correct or incorrect amount or just plain & simple ask them to fuck off!!!!!. Generally these are people who are deeply insecure about their own earnings or their kid’s earnings and constantly try and draw comparisons in the family just to see where there kids are placed, or just boost their own ego. 

6)      Male Chauvinistic Pigs – There are plenty of men who fall in this bracket. These guys will get up in the morning of the wedding functions, put on a routine shirt & a fuck all trouser, look like crap come out in the hotel lobby and discuss it with other men as to how they got ready in 30 minutes while the females are taking two hours. My simple two point answer to these assholes – Don’t worry the effort of 2 Hours vis a vis 30 Mins will show all day, and have you ever come across a wedding where the event was made to look glamorous because of guys.. I mean whom are we fooling it’s the women that make the wedding worth attending. Have you ever seen a wedding album look colorful because of the pictures of men who attended the wedding? We all know the answer don’t we? My suggestion to all these morons – let them take their time; trust me they will make it worth your while bu looking gorgeous.

7)      The Kid Contemporary Dancers Brigade – Anyone who has seen contemporary dance understands that the form requires extensive floor work techniques. Now since we are covering all age groups how can we leave out the kids. This is their time to shine & their names to be mentioned. There are always some kids ranging from approximately 2 – 5 years age group whom you would see sliding, rolling all over the floor of wedding halls and that too in nice new dresses. Their moms don’t care or they care for some time and after that they get too tired of caring for these kids, in most of Indian weddings men by default don’t care about their kids. So the final result is that you would see them at all the different floors be it banquet hall floor, reception stage floor, if nothing else then out in the open grass they will roll their way to glory. I gave a suggestion this time; leave them out in the morning for an hour unattended in the banquet hall perhaps we can save the money which we would pay to the janitors. For the record the suggestion was not received well :)

8)      SDIPA Rejects – If anyone has ever attended an SDIPA (Shiamak Davar Institute of Performing Arts) Class you know how bad you have to be in order to be rejected from those classes. Yet some of those rejects always find their ways in the bride’s or groom’s families. These are people who are uber excited to dance at every single wedding, this is a closed knit group who think they entertain everyone and are the life of the weddings. Can someone give them a reality check please? The only problem is that their interpretation of dance falls in one of the two dimensions. Let me explain this to make it simpler – First dimension is wildly flailing your arms & legs in different directions in an uncoordinated fashion. The Second dimension is movements so subtle that you need a telescope to observe & appreciate them; to the naked eye they appear to be a tree’s trunk stationary & erect. There is one commonality across the two dimensions – music playing in the background!!!!!! 

9)      The Tourist worse then one starring Johnny Depp & Angelina Jolie – Not many people disagree as to how horrible the movie “The Tourist” was. Based on that theme these are both men & women who are outstation visitors and want to use this wedding as a reason to get a free tour of the city. They will arrive and make demands like someone to accompany them to all the tourist oriented places, someone to get a car arranged for them etc etc. They would not want to spend a single penny doing any of the above. Someone explain to them that they were invited for a wedding and they did not win a free trip in some competition. These are the folks who arrive either too early for a wedding or stay over a couple of days once the wedding has finished.

10)  Indecent Proposal – These are a lot of times the same guys whom I mention in point 9 above. They would meet you in the marriage, talk to you for a couple of minutes, figure out how they are related to you (or they will confuse you, which also works for them), then figure out which city you stay in, ask your address and then quietly walk away. Someday much later after the wedding you would get a call from them that they are arriving in your city and would like to stay at your place. These people use that introduction as a shameless mechanism for avoiding accommodation & food costs in every city. My Suggestion – always give them the wrong address & incorrect phone numbers!!!!!

11)  Shobha De Wannabes – Yes we all saw this coming, these are females who think they have to critique everything & anything in the wedding some examples – wedding venue is too close (or too far) from the city, bride’s dress is too subtle (or too revealing), the groom is too thin (or slightly overweight – Indians can read it as healthy), decoration is too plain (or too gaudy), the list goes on and on. Take these females to the food stalls having 500 dishes, they would still identify the one delicacy missing and would be prompt to point out why that was the most important dish to have in the wedding. Critique! Critique!! Critique!!!

12)  Mr/Mrs Fixit – How can we forget this category, these are folks who think God wanted to make them cupids but ran out of raw materials and traded them in for humans. They will try and fix you up with a person of opposite sex irrespective of whether you want it or not so long as you are unmarried. I always wonder are these people suffering in their own marriages and are thinking – why should they alone burn and wants us to join the suffering in the inferno or they are so happy that they want you also to experience the same. I guess the answer somewhere lies in the middle it’s a mix of both. What these folks perhaps need to realize is that if it ain’t broken then don’t try to FIXIT.

13)  The Alpha Fail oops!!! Male – These are almost always guys they will come up to you and without any context start talking about how great their businesses are doing, how many influential people they know, how they are invited for all the special occasions by celebrities, they will boast about how much they have contributed to charity or for religion. They really try to portray that they are the next in line once God decides to take a vacation. The funnier part is sometimes their conversations end with the question about whether you would be interested to invest your money in their business with the delusional promise of the most unrealistic returns.

14)  The Great Wall of China – These are folks whose sense of positioning themselves at any particular place has been completely obliterated. Any event happening on the stage be it singing, dancing, any other form of entertainment, any  rituals related to marriage, these folks will involuntarily find themselves standing right in your line of sight while you are sitting and enjoying the event , it is like their sub conscious has a separate direction sensing mechanism altogether. The more irritating part is that they do not stand there to get a better view of the stage, they are oblivious to what is happening on stage, they are just chatting their way to glory with someone who is another brick in this great wall. Depends upon how you look at it – Birds of a feather flock together or It takes two hands to clap.

15)  The Cross Checker definitely not the Hot Stepper- These are the folks whose sub conscious wanted them to be in Government’s Secret Service Function but unfortunately their conscious never developed enough to make them eligible for those coveted jobs. So they try and satisfy themselves by putting their detective’s hat on during these weddings. All that they will do is get a piece of information from you then will go & cross check the same subtly with your parents, spouse or siblings. Like where are you employed they will take the answer and verify the same with someone close to you when you are not around. Why they do it or what they get out of it? I will update here once I find an answer. As of now your guess is as good as mine.

16)  Desi Cosmo & Vogue Combo - 2 in 1 Offer – These are always women folks. They run a standard programme. They will start with a 10 Minute recap of what happened in the last marriage they met you or they went, in what all ways this is different than that. Then once the recap is done and you are in the mood, the actual episode starts for 45 minutes to an hour (yes there will be no commercial breaks also) they will tell you all the filthy gossip from the family – who is dating who, who is about to divorce whom, whose marriage is in shambles, where all adultery is rampant, whose daughter ran away with whose son, whose daughter ran away and then came back, they even have information about whose daughter is about to run away again and with whom. I almost feel like they have an elaborate scoring & tracking mechanism in place monitored across the globe thru some satellite or something. Finally they will wind up the show leaving you excited about what all they will have information on when they see you next so stay tuned. I have two suggestions for this they should come with two warning messages: (a) Listener’s discretion is advised, and (b) Any event described in this conversation is fictional, any connection or similarity to any person living or dead is purely coincidental or I just want to be a BITCH!!!

17)  The Family (not Cable) Connection Guy – These folks can be of either sex, these are people who will talk endlessly without even breaking for a breath that why it is so important to attend every single wedding that happens in the family irrespective of how remote the location is, how being connected with the family and regularly meeting them is the only way to obtain eternal happiness & inner peace, they will try and show you merit in exhausting all your leaves at work to visit relatives & their weddings, they will sound completely convinced that the solution to all your problems in life lies in being with the extended family. On a side note –for me the problems gets exaggerated when I am in connection with my extended family!!!!! My suggestion – These people are great to get a thin neck, just be around them and keep nodding in complete agreement, don’t bother listening.

18)  Hungry, Hungry Hippos – This is the last stereotype which I would be talking about in this post from my side. This is very close to my heart & I am very particular about this so there would not be any humor in this. The stereotype which I am talking about is people who waste food at weddings. I absolutely despise this category – I am a firm believer of not wasting food because of the obvious reasons that everyone alive needs it and unfortunately not everyone can afford it. These worthless humans will take every dish which is on the menu, taste some of them not taste the others and just throw it away and then some of them will even criticize it, that is unacceptable and truly these people should be tied to a leash and left starving for 2 to 3 days to make them realize the importance of food. Enough Said!!!!!

So this was my experience from a family wedding after 13 years, really so many stereotypes. So once again the question, how many of them can you identify on your next family wedding experience, feel free to let me know if there are more and I would expand this post to include more.

By this post I may have just eliminated my chances of ever being invited for another wedding.

In the meanwhile Happy Stereotyping!!!!!

STEREOTYPING – Up, Up And Away - AIRPORT

So right now I am at the Bangalore Airport and as usual because of my habit of arriving ridiculously early at such places I am here a full 2.5 hours before my flight. So writing this blog post is my way of killing time.

I thought Airport is one great place where we come across a whole lot of strangers, we don’t talk, we don’t pay attention to one another, all of us are calmly (or in some cases not so calmly) going about our business of boarding a flight which would take us to our desired destination. However I have always encountered people which are stereotypes. You would always find these traits at any airport and in most of your flights.

Here it goes Stereotyping while sitting at the airport:

1)      The lungs of Mighty Thor – A kid, a toddler mostly not even able to stand but got the lungs of mighty Thor and will keep crying at the top of his/her voice all the time, will not let you work in the flight or at the airport will not let you take a nap but will cry, cry & cry.

2)      The Zombie Lady – I always come across at least one lady in the waiting lounge of the airport who looks like has not slept for ages, she would look extremely tired would have dark circles below the eyes and in most of the cases will be taking care of someone who has the lungs of mighty Thor – figures why she is like a zombie. On a separate note have you ever noticed – a girl has a glow on her face if she has been kept awake the previous night by her boyfriend or husband but has a gloom if she has been kept awake by her kid – a couple of alphabets here & there can drastically change the mood just like a couple of decisions can drastically change life - Hmmm Interesting!!!!!

3)      Corporate Cry Babies – These guys will be always there in early morning flights travelling on work to another city or country but will always have reason to complaint about their corporate bookings done by their employer organizations – why did they book the flight this early? Why did they book this airline and not the other? What is the point of this travel? Why did they book economy & not business class (how many people do you know who travels Business Class in their own country at their own expense – my honest answer – I know two)

4)      Vivacious Vibrant Vibrating Teens – There is always a group of teenagers at the airport, chattering away in a small group, discussing their shopping plans, their assignments, how & for what reasons their parents would murder them. This is the only group who are enthusiastic even for an early morning flight. They are the only ones who don’t bother finding chairs in the waiting lounge but generally find a nice comfortable spot on the floor to sit.

5)      Excess Baggage is our Birthright – Yeah we all saw this coming, we cannot travel light, we need to have clothes & lots of clothes, food, & lots of food, back up locks in case the locks of suitcase breaks, jars of pickle, gifts for everyone in the family whom we are visiting, gifts from everyone in the family from where we left to be given to everyone in the family where we are going and the list never ends. You would always see one family hopelessly trying to argue or negotiate at the check in counter for allowing extra baggage without paying for it or people in absolutely hot weather wearing multiple layers of clothing so that it would not be part of check in or cabin baggage. Hilarious!!!!!

6)       Visitors in Rose garden – Just by looking at them you can say that they are the newly married couple, you can just say and I am also including non-Punjabi brides, since they are the most easily identifiable by the assortment of bangles which they wear after their marriage for a limited period of time prescribed by their religion. This type are so apparently identifiable that you would generally see a couple of seats on their side being left un occupied at the waiting lounge or are the last ones to be occupied

7)      Alice : Lost in Wonderland – These are not first time flyers, some of them are first time at that specific airport and some of them have already been there before. But still they are perpetually lost as to where to go and what to do next. From my experience I can firmly assure that none of the 20 odd airports which I would have visited in my lifetime have given me an impression of being a maze in which I will get lost. But then again I do have a tendency to get lost in car parking lots J

8)      The Checklist Couple – Most of the time you will see this couple arguing about who was supposed to do what before leaving the house, or sometimes you would see the husband running through a checklist with his wife – did you close the windows, did you lock the house, did you put the trash out, did you turn the gas off, did you do this, did you do that. I always think isn’t it a little too late to be asking these questions!!!! I always think just for the fun of it the wife should respond – “honey I left the gas on, why don’t you go back and turn it off and I will board the flight”

9)      The Loudspeaker – Actually this is the breed which you will find in multiple numbers in a single visit to the airport itself, these are people who talk so loudly on their cell phones sitting in the waiting lounge that one has to wonder why they are using cell phones at all. Slightly more loud and they can have a conversation with the person at the other end without it.

10)  The Woman of Substance - Let’s be honest with the arrival of economy carriers & our own daily lifestyles the number of trips to the airport has substantially increased for everyone and with that we have completely stopped caring about what we are wearing when we go to the airport (again particularly early morning flights). However most of the times I have come across one lady at least who stand out as an epitome of grace & class, she would be dressed in well-fitting business suit or a gorgeous dress and would have an aura of class all around her. I sometimes wonder if she is the one paying for everyone on her flight J

Yeah just to leave no room for doubt I have almost never come across guys who could fit in this stereotype – at best they will be in a suit – How Boring!!!!!

11)  Last Man Standing or rather Outstanding – These are people who would get their check in done, get their boarding passes & disappear into thin air, they become impervious to boarding announcements and would only re appear once their names are announced on the speakers for the entire airport to know about them. I wonder if they are suffering from an identity crisis and yeah congratulations now you are an airport wide known JERK

12)  AAA Classified Advisory Top Secret Group – Honestly I hate this lot perhaps second only to the kind crying their lungs out in a plane, these are folks who would be either speaking on the phone or fiddling with their BlackBerrys till the time a flight attendant comes and requests them to switch it off for takeoff. They will not pay heed to any announcements asking to switch off electronic devices. I always wonder what is so important they are discussing – are they advising Obama as to how to fight against Romney in America Presidential elections, or advising Kim Kardashian to not to date Kanye again, or asking Manmohan Singh to follow the words of Russell Peters “Be A Man”

So that was my second list of stereotypes which I could come up with on my this visit to airport, how many of them can you identify on your next flying experience , feel free to let me know if there are more and I would expand this post to include more.

In the meanwhile Happy Stereotyping!!!!!

On a side note I am really excited about my next post – I am visiting a family wedding and that too attending one after almost 13 Years – So next post is Stereotyping in Family Weddings.

 

STEREOTYPING – Working for a Living - WORKPLACE

I switched jobs a couple of months back so for me it has been new organization, new colleagues I thought things will be different but to my surprise I just observed that only the names and faces are different and I can fit almost every colleague’s behavior to someone who was also my colleague in my previous organization.

This is what the post is all about, I am going to put my stereotype hat on and start describing & classifying people at workplace into stereotypes. See how many you can identify which match these attributes at your workplace.

Most of these stereotypes would be indifferent of male or female sex, however if I do feel like being sexist for some of them I would mention it in their description.

They are in the order of what purely as a matter of personal opinion I fine in the descending order of irritability (from most irritating to less irritating)

1)      Derek’O Brien’s Illegitimate Children – These are people who love to ask questions, for them they have to show off what they have understood not by offering solutions but asking questions. Their questions are mostly reiterations of what has already been explained or a mere play of words. You give them one task and what you get in return is not the output/solution/deliverable but a barrage of questions.

2)      Boss Whores – Ass lickers, smoke break partners, worthless pieces of meat on the face of this planet, enough said let’s move on.

3)      Indian Idol Rejects – Horrible singers but would be at the forefront of any office outing or event singing (read as producing irritating noise) at the top of their lungs and encouraging everyone else to sing who does not want to in the hope of earning some brownie points with the management pretending to be guys who promote team bonding

4)      Richard Branson wannabes – These are people who always talk about their purchases or spending without anyone asking them ever, how many times have you heard a person saying – I bought a mac, I went to the most expensive hotel, I changed my car, I joined the most expensive health club, a Bollywood celebrity cannot find an apartment in the complex where I live, I am this, I am that etc etc.

5)      Potential Radiation Victims – There is a sexist notion associated with cell phones that girls talk a lot using their phones, I disagree since I have seen in my offices guys who have to step out every 5 mins from their desks to take a call or even worst case people who sit at their desks and talk to their distant uncles and aunts just to figure out whether their cows and buffalos are alive and doing well or they are dead

6)      Work from Home molesters – These are the people who use the facility “work from home” but are never online, do not respond to mails, whenever there are important calls their internet connections has problems, on critical deliverables they have power outages, can someone explain to them it is “work from home” and not “pretend to work from home”

7)      Strategists Bastards – A very interesting breed anything they ever talk is at least at 45000 feet, always talking bullshit in the form of strategy, these people are claimed that they see the bigger picture. A classic examples one of my team mates on a conference call when posed a question about information on a slide – the slide contained a triangle with some bubbles containing text around organization structure of a department the bubbles were both inside and outside the triangle – his response to the question was verbatim – “we have tried to look at this from an inside out perspective and not an outside in perspective” - I am yet to understand if the statement had ever any meaning however this firmly finds its place in one of the most 10 hilarious moments in my corporate career so far

8)      Whiner like a 24 Hour Diner – These folks will always find ways to present themselves as victims, they have an air (read as Cyclone) of negativity around them and would always get you down – their typical statements – this organization is not right, my role is not good, I am not getting the deserved progress, I don’t have a mentor, my in laws are not good, this is wrong in my life, that is wrong and the whining goes on & on & on 24 X 7.

9)      Once Upon a Time – Paradoxical Idiots – These guys are stuck in a time paradox and have lost contact with reality and current time line. The most typical example of these kind are lateral hires and how many times do you hear them speaking – “in my last company……” – why did you ever quit dumb fuck!!!!!

10)  Facebook & social media sluts – These people don’t need (read it as don’t deserve) an explanation, throughout office hours they would be on Facebook, Twitter, My Space, Whatsapp and every possible social media site out there.

11)  Reality Show Victims – Ok time to be a bit sexist, mostly these are females – every day for them has to be a discussion on what happened last evening on every dumb reality show which get broadcasted on any channel, this discussion is the beginning of the day caffeine shot for them, the same discussion extends their lunch breaks to more than an hour while the guys wonder what is there to discuss in these shows!!!!

12)  Sports Jihadis – Again being sexist these are almost always guys, obsessed with sports be it football, cricket, Olympics, common wealth games or anything, spots for them is religion. Their days start with discussion on yesterday’s results & their critical analysis of the match, their lunch breaks are about suggesting what strategy should have been used by which player to get the desired result & their day ends with deciding what selection of players should be chosen for the next encounter and who should retire and who should continue playing or who should be introduced in the team – problem solved!!!!!

Disclaimer: I hate 10 & 11 both equally there is no order among these two J

13)  Manmohan Singh’s Clones – Well you know what is coming don’t you – the silent no opinion, detached from world types – they have no opinion and are always ready to say yes for anything which any one says – do we want to go for a movie with the team, their answer : “ok”, should we go for a team lunch, their answer: “ok”, where should we go, their answer “anywhere everyone wants to go”, do we want to have a drinking session after office, their answer: “if everyone is going I will come”, for once in your life stand up and have an opinion.

14)  Silent Assassin – I don’t hate these people but I like them, these are guys who talk very less but are always ready with the answers, they give the best presentations, best deliverables, are ridiculously committed but will be in one side on any group events or team outings, they are termed as self-centered sometimes branded as not team players, but are as close to being in disposable as one can get for an organization.

So that was my little list of office stereotypes which I could come up with, how many of them can you identify with in your workplace, feel free to let me know if there are more and I would expand this post to include more.

In the meanwhile Happy Stereotyping!!!!!

Further Stereotypes added on suggestions:

1)      “Official Live In Relationship” - literally – These are guys who love to be in office not because they are committed to work but because of Air Conditioning, subsidized food, table tennis, billiards table, foosball table & any other facility other than work. These guys are in office for long hours on weekdays and come to office and sleep on weekends. Most of the times they are Boss whores as the boss loves them since they spend so much time at workplace. No social life outside office & nothing to do in life best describes these folks. (Credits: Aparajita Sood)

2)      Matrimonial Victims – These are people who cannot stay out after 9:00 PM, not because they are under aged or have a guardian at home but because they are married. These are the most boring people to hang out with. In the words of Chris Rock – “All their stories end with – and then it was getting late so we went home”. Don’t get me wrong the story not only repeats itself when either the wife has to go back home or the husband has to go back home, even when both of them are in a social gathering these are the people who will leave the earliest. Even Einstein would get baffled and say that he can explain E = mc(square) but cannot explain this phenomena. (Credits: Aparajita Sood)

 

STEREOTYPING IS MORE ADDICTIVE THEN TWEETING

It has been a long time since I have written anything, in between I have changed jobs, changed my car, changed my dance classes, did my tax returns for the year, changed a lot of things and in the midst of all that I HAVE BEEN BUSY. There you go now isn’t that a famous stereotypical statement which you hear often. What I mean is that you would always have someone around you mostly at workplace or in your family who would be always telling you – “I have been upto this, I want to do this, I am so capable of doing that… I can go and set up a hydel power plant at Mars… I can devise a homemade recipe for curing cancer. But just that I don’t have the time, I am so busy.” Then you think about it, this guy has a wife perhaps one or two kids a regular house (with mortgage on it obviously) he seems to be the most run of the mill guy with the likes of whom around 50% of this planet is populated. There is nothing unique or special about his lifestyle, yet he is busy. Now time for a confession the reason I have not written anything is because I have had plenty of time but did not find anything interesting to write about. Now that changed over the last couple of months and so I am back at writing.

Over the last 4 years I have consciously trained myself not to be judgmental about people and segregate them into categories at the first glance. The reason for me to consciously do that was that neither I need nor have the right to judge people. I feel very comfortable not needing to have an opinion about everyone in life.

I am not sure about other cultures but we Indians love to be judgmental, an average Indian would perhaps have 10-12 categories in which he can classify the entire population of this planet and I can confidently say the number of categories will not increase even once we discover alien life forms & civilizations.

Let’s try and pen down some of these categories which at least we Indians have:

Fat (if you are an Indian read as healthy) & Thin (if you are an Indian read as malnutrition)

Fit (if you are an Indian read as someone who can just climb the stairs) & Unfit (if you are an Indian & you cannot eat 5 paranthas in a single sitting)

Beautiful (simplest of the lot, if you are a girl & you are fair skinned, if you are a guy then you just need to be loaded with cash) & Ugly (if you are a girl anything other than fair skin, if you are a guy then who is not loaded)

Good Character (you are willing to marry anyone whom your parents decide) & Characterless (you have an opinion about your personal life)

Concerned family person (someone who is there always to enforce his or her wealth of experience - just read as countless years of irrelevant existence on the face of earth consuming precious natural resources, over every single matter in your life, irrespective of whether you require it or not) & Irresponsible loner (someone who does not interfere in every aspect of someone else’s life)

Cultured (who touches the feet of everyone – ‘even during rainy season’ who were born after anything more than 36 seconds of their birth, and whose family does not know about their drinking & smoking habits) & Uncultured synonymous to Vulgar (this has a really interesting segregation, evaluation criteria by girls for girls – if you are not my immediate biological sister, mother or daughter sooner or later I will find a reason to classify you in this bracket, evaluation criteria by guys for girls – if you are not my immediate biological sister, mother, wife or daughter and you refused to sleep with me then sooner or later I will find a reason to classify you in this bracket)

Family (anyone or anything that ever showed up in any of your family functions, your family’s family functions, someone has told you that they are part of family but do not show up at family’s functions, don’t ever bother counting them because it is an infinite set) & not family (anyone who lives on earth and is left out from family & alien civilizations yet to be discovered)

Now those were some of the brackets which I could think of. I will append this list if I come across something else which is prominently used

My next few articles would be around stereotypes which we encounter in different familiar settings in our daily lives. Let’s see how many of them you are able to identify in your lives in similar settings.

Cheers & have a great blogging day ahead.......